I'll - leads to words of mine. "I" means myself as an individual, I am important, thus I is capitalised.
Love - leads to posts. "Love" in actual fact is just a word, it does not exist in RL =x.
you - leads to links. *YOU* have appeared in my life =)
Forever - leads to tagboard. What really is 'forever'?
Promises - leads to my profile. "Promises" exist to be cherished and believed.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Today is my first day without Si Hwee.. my heart.. feel slightly lighter now.. I accepted the fact that she got a boyfriend le.. but well i am very very disappointed.. i dunno how things will turn out to be.. if she ever wants me back.. i think i really have to consider many many times..
heart aches to know that the sweet things she said to me.. she is saying to another guy.. for that moment of time.. she was so unwilling to call me dear.. unwilling to call me darling and telling me she loves me.. now i guess.. she is telling another guy all the time.. calling him that.. calling him on phone every night.
In the past i was very eager to stead with Si Hwee, very eager to have a happier tomorrow with her.. Now.. I think i also should try my best to be eager to forget her.. of course not totally.. just forget my feelings. gonna write a letter for her bah..
Someone said to me.. its her destiny.. if somehow something will happen to make her regret.. and she doesnt want to listen to me, it will be her loss... i cannot change her destiny.. but i really dun want Si Hwee to regret.. it will be too late lor.. have to try no matter what.. i guess..
i dun want to do any more things to make Si Hwee hate me.. there are many things i can do to make her hate me for life.. i dun think i want a heartless girl like her.. i also dun want to make myself heartless.. but 3 years later i still will find her.. maybe after seeing her i will become a *dragonfly*..
Hold onto a butterfly, hold on too tightly, it will crush.. hold on too loose.. it will fly away..
There is sand on ur palm.. hold on too tightly, the sand will fall off, just leave it the way it is with an opened hand.. and let the sand rest on ur palm.. what is meant to be urs.. will be urs =) when the wind blows.. and the sand dun fall off.. its destined to be urs always.. ^^ since my butterfly has flown away.. i can only hope to pick a proper palmful of sand =D
Si Hwee promised not to get another stead so fast.. yet it has not even been a month.. I am very disappointed.. i see no point in continuing my 1 yr-commitment.. but it has to continue.. whoever i may stead with.. i will say this.. if SH wants me back.. maybe i will go back.. because.. its my commitment towards her.. it all depends on how i see things.. SH is not really worth my love anymore.. but the things i promised SH.. still lasts..
Just now in Johnson's house.. I watched a show.. a very nice one.. the guy fell in love with a ghost.. he decided to create history.. to create a miracle.. to make the first kiss between mortal and ghost.. they did it.. they fell in love.. then there was this exorcist.. upon shaking the mortal's hand.. he realised that .. the mortal will die at midnight.. thus he decided to exorcise the ghost.. there were 2 'Doors', 'Door of Life' and 'Door of Death'.. during the exorcism.. if any of the doors were open.. the lifes of all mortals would be threatened.. the mirror of the exorcist = Door of Death..
the window = Door of Life.. The window was opened.. then.. the exorcist fled for his life.. he was a strong exorcist.. but he was slightly scared or something.. and he din expect the guy to enter the scene of exorcism. the window (door of life) was sucking the ghost away.. the guy die die also dun want to let go.. until finally.. the girl just flew off.. the guy said "wait for me".. and he jumped down the window..
i also dunno whether he survive or not.. the next scene he was in a hospital.. bandages covered him.. and the song played was not bad.. if i din recall wrongly.. the lyrics were something like "i want to love u through everything, want to write a poem with u.. my mind is in confusion.. looking for the right word to piece in" ..the tune was nice la.. and the next scene.. he was in the rain.. and he stopped a car.. the female driver looked like the ghost.. but then he let her pass.. i oso dunno.. i watched last 30-40 mins of the show.. like no commercial de.. cant rmb whether have or not.. haha
i like the show la.. its a special relationship.. i wanted special relationships also mah..
moral of the story : dun try to stop a relationship.. nothing is really bad.. if u stop it.. the real tragedy will come out..
i wish SH will come to her senses soon.. hopefully she will forgive me.. because i know.. no other guy can love her as much as i do.. i hope that that guy will treat her very well.. SH and i are now impossible.. after all the exchange of harsh words.. to deeper misunderstandings.. to me not liking her attitude.. haha its really impossible.. i hope i can faster forget her =) hmm.. 21st November.. supposedly exactly 1 month after I shouted at Seoul Gardens.. means i know the rest of her classmates for 1 month le ^^ lol
haha.. yea .. just now went out with Leroy, Alex, Jerald.. realised what lousy tastes i got.. really sux.. Leroy shopped $250++ over >.<>.< must!!
i very tired now la.. my sister use comp so long zz.. just now i slept on sofa.. until she told me i can use le xD
1:41 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
I knew Fate wouldn't appear like this.
* none *
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~Mervyn~
25/05/89
firerain2o01@hotmail.com
Friendster
I wish things will go my way..
I wish for a better tomorrow!
I wish for peace.