I'll - leads to words of mine. "I" means myself as an individual, I am important, thus I is capitalised.
Love - leads to posts. "Love" in actual fact is just a word, it does not exist in RL =x.
you - leads to links. *YOU* have appeared in my life =)
Forever - leads to tagboard. What really is 'forever'?
Promises - leads to my profile. "Promises" exist to be cherished and believed.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Im very very sad now...
7:03 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Sunday, December 25, 2005
haix it really hurts..
my only christmas wish, is a call from you..
today someone said something.. made me more pissed than sad. spoilt and ruined my whole christmas.. this christmas shld be my worst.. but i had a good time yesterday.. with Josephine =)
thanks Josephine for asking me out.. i din regret..
we both went to church together.. on the journey there.. she was very quiet.. then we reached Tanah Merah interchange.. lol.. the Terace houses there looked good.. so i joked with her.. 'nxt time we get married.. we stay here.. ok? but got some problem.. very bu fang bian for our kids to go to school'
haha.. she went Diao~! we went to EXPO.. city harvest mah.. her friends were there.. the queue quite long.. then got one bogei(no tooth) fatty =x very noisy one.. Usher closing the erm.. gate of some sort la.. then her friends come.. she shout to the usher.. 'my fren my fren! our fren our fren' -.-" dam dam noisy..
Josephine and I went to BK to buy food.. got 2 small kids tag along haha.. then i also bought my food.. Jos was so sweet.. ^^
when we got back.. the darn fatty still kbkp.. i whispered to Jos.. "that dua......" then she laugh at me.. say i evil... lol.. but really mah.. that dua pui so noisy one -.-
then we got in.. the guy say cannot bring food in.. so either eat now.. or throw.. Christmas Eve.. people talk about wasting food.. OMG NOW THEN I REALISED! I SHOULD HAVE JACKED HIM YESTERDAY! LOL CHRISTIANS SUGGESTING WASTING FOOD..
we got in.. had seats.. Josephine smuggled her food in.. -.- i smuggled mine also. Jos' friend.. Jermaine helped me smuggle lol.. then SL called me.. went to meet him.. haha.. i did have fun already le.. but i was sleepy.. i slept at 9:42-9:50 AM.. -.- SL told me he wanted to eat.. so i brought my food out too.. Oh.. SL also brought me to find his cellgroup friends.. Debra and the others.. Debra still very chio orhx =D Jos called my hp when i entered the toilet -.-" thats a little embarrassing.. i went out and picked the phone.. she told me the seats were.. taken le.. 2 seats lost.. she was supposed to take the whole row de.. reserve for her cellgroup friends.. my fault =x i apologised to her lor.. she told me to faster go back.. so i bid SL bb.. and went back in..
i told Josephine i was tired.. and i might sleep if they preached.. that cute girl told me not to.. saying it will throw her face!! LOL.. ya in the end i didnt.. CHC service was still the same.. first 30 mins, music, singing and dancing.. this one really fun sia.. like go concert like that.. its worth going to CHC for that.. then this week special.. Christmas mah.. so got the Christmas drama.. dam gd.. love it.. really nice.. and funny also.. got one part.. they used the chicken little tune.. and added their own lyrics.. they also had another chinese song, changed the lyrics also.. really dam cute.. about king herold and the 3 wisemen de~!! i mean king herold and 3 wisemen sung.. lyrics was about Jesus..
then after that.. got one part.. about another family.. dam touching.. they were about to break le.. married couple.. the guy was a workaholic.. dun care abt family.. the wife got hurt.. and then finally.. the wife initiated break-up.. the husband told her.. "i am sorry i took you for granted, these 16 years, you have been living in misery, i am sorry i did not make u happy.. 16 yrs ago.. i promised u that i will love u forever.. but i did not keep my word.. now.. if i still have a chance.. i would still choose you!!" i really cried lor.. tears kept dropping.. so touching.. still feel like crying now that i rmb the show..
then after that they preached.. i did not sleep leh =x ^^ (now 1.21am.. went out for a chat with Roy and Alex) then 6:30.. the service was over le.. i went to look for Eugene.. also paiseh mah.. 1 whole cellgroup there.. i tag along.. cant be.. i dun mind if first time.. with SL cellgrp.. i still feel.. if i am in a cellgrp.. i shld be in SL's..
after that.. we went carnival.. i was with Josephine the whole time.. only occasionally go find SL.. got once Josephine make me sad nia.. zz.. nvm i forgive her.. but seriously.. i din think i enjoyed myself.. kept thinking.. if i WERE(no typo error here) with SH.. i would be happier.. but now come to think of it.. i really enjoyed myself yesterday.. thanks alot Josephine!! i went with rides with her also.. really enjoyed..
then.. stayed there till 10++ then went to MRT station le.. took train to changi :o (changi agn xD) then.. oh.. btw.. Josephine's cellgrp got one girl.. 18 yrs old de!! DAm CHIO LEH! =X her name is Jasmine, Shi Jia.. really chiobu.. the kind of chioness no one will guess.. then.. Jasmine, Josephine, and 2 other people, Helen and another guy.. and me of coz.. took a bus from Changi.. the 3 of them lived in Yishun.. so they took 858.. while Josephine and I took 53 to Bishan.. haha alone with her le finally.. got off at the stop at Roy's house.. and walked to Kopitiam.. halfway there.. she sore throat le mah.. from all that screaming at the carnival.. i bought strepsils for her.. then go buy food... ate with her.. i had a meal with her leh.. i din even have a meal with SH.. not even seeing her eat.. then.. i saw Josephine back after that.. to her doorstep.. her very doorstep.. even though she said later her father see le.. will be very mafan.. but i promised Jasmine and Helen that i will see Jos to her doorstep mah xD im so responsible.. after that I took a bus back.. nightbus nia.. to my house.. and i reached home le =) i think.. i sort of treated Josephine as my stead for 1 day..
go back le.. still can talk to SH.. through her brother's acnt.. i was quite happy even though she called me boliao.. maybe from this i got the wrong msg.. but im very tired le.. im really very tired..
even though now Xmas is over.. i wish everyone a merry christmas and a happy new year =D
11:07 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Thursday, December 22, 2005
i now very kan cheong..!! i very pissed.. its 6am now..
21st December 2005, it was my happiest day after breaking off friendship with SH.. but today.. ITS REALLY MY WORST DAY..
I got hurt far beyond any expectations.. AND I LOST ANOTHER FRIEND AGAIN.. I CANNOT TAKE IT.. I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY.. I CAN ONLY WAIT TILL SOMEONE WAKES UP AND TALK TO ME.
2:07 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
just now i woke up.. 5++ le.. she was playing maple.. chat with her lor.. got one sentence she made me upset.. but the rest was fine la =D
hunt dao hinomaru fan for her le.. so happy.. 74 matk.. 11m wand.. =D i giving her later (now 10.17am mah).. hope she will like it..
after that.. i went with Iris.. to help Andy lvl.. lol.. was funny la.. really very funny ^^
at night.. i hunted.. Yeti and Pepe with Leroy.. quite fun in a sense.. but nothing drop >.< no equipments..
haiyo.. HDB really no gd >.< one dog barked.. echo.. another dog also bark.. dam noisy sia.. haix.. neighbour drop 1 coin.. i also can hear at this floor =( the lifts all no mirror de =(
the grass is always greener at the other side << i think its very true.. when i used to live in a condo.. i thought.. "after i moved into a HDB.. it will be better.. better to exercise.. there the roads.. all no good de".. but now.. i realised there better.. more private.. less people to see me exercise.. lesser cars around.. exercising, breathe in polluted air.. is very unhealthy de..
just now i thought of the times i had with her. i miss her so much....... yet she still wants to hurt me..
6:11 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Monday, December 19, 2005
Firstly, let me write here : HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRIS =x
(even though i know Iris wont read my blog)
today went to take results.. starting.. the stupid talk.. very waste time.. i was very excited earlier la.. friends all there.. haha.. felt happy and warm.. it could have been my last time seeing these people.. but hey.. lots of us passed.. in my class, unfortunately, 5 failed.. =(
Nadiah(a close classmate of mine), top student ^^ thats good xD.. grats Nadiah.. with 5 distinctions..
anyway i didnt do that badly la.. 3 distinctions also.. xD sounds good right? 3 A2s -.- so its 6 points.. not good le =(
went back home.. din go Thomson Plaza, cause my pants, had a small hole >.< still embarrassing la.. sigh.. i felt so different.. back in Thomson View, its like.. going home was supposed to be very welcoming.. i could have sat by the swimming pool.. or in the air-conditioned room.. could be at my balcony enjoying the scenary.. all these, HDB dun have =(
i also didnt dare to on my speaker to the loudest.. even my room can hear.. let alone neighbours.. so many things.. i must learn to live with everything.. how can sia..
evening time.. went to play pool with friends.. haha.. pool again -.- alot of friends passed mah.. they all happy lor..
i am very motivated to study.. maybe its because.. of her? i recall the times.. i said.. i stop maple.. to study.. haha.. i didnt la.. but there were a few times i really wanted to stop.. at that time i still had her.. why sia.. why after my N levels, i had to chase her away? i miss her so much.. to the extremes again..
I want to study hard.. im willing to really stop maple.. maybe its because.. i was so worried i would fail my N levels.. this is what that spurs me on? i also know that.. i want to show her im not useless.. want to prove to her.. i need her back :'(
just now.. i trained maple.. DAM tired leh.. coolie zombies there.. now 56%.. started off with 30%.. i started around 2:30.. stopped around 6:30..now its 7:25.. dam tired.. i played abit like a robot lor.. see monster then press D (powerstrike).. din even went through my brain.. abit like i was posssessed.. 4 hrs.. 1 hr now 6.5%.. zzz its around this le.. my lvl also not say very high mah..
haix.. must start reading my books le.. i want read finish at least half of each book. before sch reopens!
xmas is coming.. i have plans for this xmas =)
3:16 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Sunday, December 18, 2005
these days.. sigh.. so fast 19th December le.. later must go get N lvl results.. hannor im N.. i still feel very inferior.. today is a new friend's birthday.. and another new friend's steading anniversary.. lol..
yea.. so long never update le.. been lazy-tired etc.. also lost my mood la.. alot to blog about leh..
1 week since i moved into this flat le.. not really happy bah.. need more time to get used to it.. but im a very sentimental person wor =x.. my neighbours.. not friendly one.. are all flat ppl like this -.-
yea.. abit missing Thomson View now.. wonder how #08-03 is doing.. hopefully can go back see see someday =x
planning to go Thomson plaza after collecting results tomorrow.. Xmas is coming.. i need to buy a gift for a special someone =x a female la xD
i got to hear a new song =) its a nice song.. li xiang qing ren, =) one sentence is "hao xiang zhi dao, ni de yi bai fen, hui gei zhe me yang de ren"
i know my 100% is given to who :P
anyway.. now is already 5:30 am.. so i better start typing soon.. zz delay until now..
these days.. i have been spending lots of time with Leroy.. i remember the 2nd day i move here, i overnight.. then the 3rd morning.. we went for breakfast.. haha.. at kopitiam.. i ordered the breakfast set, egg, milo, and.. oh almost forgot.. kaya toast =x back at my old house.. very bu fang bian to order these kind of food.. then i also ordered fried noodles.. wasnt that nice la.. but i appreciated the fact that i could eat these.. my sore throat at that day was still bad.. so went to buy strepsils with Roy.. haha..
then the rest of the day.. slept and maple bah..
then the next day.. very cute haha.. met Roy and Jerald at kopitiam there... it was raining.. after talking alot abt maple.. the 3 of us walked to the busstop.. to go J8.. take MRT to Marina Bay.. =.= i realised every bus except 162, goes to J8.. yea.. so we went marina bay.. haha.. we went there.. then dunno how to go to.. Parkway Parade le.. end up we took a cab.. $6++ -.- and we finally reached there.. and then Jerald took a cab off -.- why he even followed us in the first place? we went to Parkway Parade.. and realised something wonderful.. we wanted to visit HuiPing at her workplace.. but stupid sia.. she was sick.. took halfday leave.. so we walked walked there.. both Leroy and I had severe sore throat.. dam cute sia..
we walked out of the place.. to look around the market there.. see got what to eat.. we pass the hokkien mee stall.. >.< there =".="" friends =")">.<>.< and desert.. the desert sux.. was supposed to be herbal jelly.. but that one was really erxin..
after that we saw lots of people while walking to the MRT station, Scott, Sharlene, and i forgot who else le.. =x and then.. Jerald was waiting at MRT.. Leroy din see him.. i did.. Jer was sleeping against the pillar though.. there was a fountain at Marina Sq.. very nice.. in future i will bring my dear there.. we went to play pool.. that was the day i heard the song.. of Prince of Egypt -- Miracles.. and the day i cried.. haha.. play more pool.. then can go play with Ying Xin again nxt time =x cannot afford to xia suay myself in front of her mah..
that was also the day i quarrelled with my mom.. my mom was at fault.. i dun see any wrong in demanding an apology.. if want me go into details.. its troublesome.. just believe me.. she said things that are very nasty.. and 100% out of point..
the next day i stayed at home also.. whole day maple.. slept until 2-3++ mah..
the next day also quite cute la.. i and Roy went down to SIMLIM.. SH was supposed to be there.. well.. we were late.. she went home le =(.. Roy checked his comp prices there lor..
then we walked to bugis.. lol.. went to eat at their foodcourt.. yuck.. the noodles there sux >.> i eat le.. wanted to vomit.. Roy ate rice nia.. then we walked around bugis.. wanted to go look for HuiPing.. but also wanted to go watch movie.. called Tsz Kong.. but he din want to watch.. that guy is a hardcore gamer now.. playing world of warcraft -.- he said it was getting boring.. but how to believe? TK finds every game boring after a while cause he sux at them ;P
so in the end.. we went to AMK.. play pool! =D see.. building my pool skills.. wahaha... then Jerald and Jesslyn met us there also.. but Jess had to go off at 11.. so 1 hr lor.. we open table at 10.08.. Jer went off at 10 50 liddat.. then.. Jess also went off.. Roy and I.. last game then we also went off le -.- my pool skills really sux..
went home.. play maple.. then never sleep.. went out for breakfast.. hah.. Roy and I wanted to go to YaKun kaya.. but not opened at 7 30 mah.. so we went macs.. had a meal.. Jerald wanted to come down also.. omg.. he stay newton leh.. he took a cab down.. he must miss Leroy alot.. -.-
so we ate macs.. then went down to yakun at 8:30.. yakun opened at 8 le.. haha.. i accidentally poured too much sauce onto my eggs.. >.< too salty..become black eggs.. haha Roy offered me his eggs.. i was full also la.. i think now.. i will eat la.. im hungry now.. then we went to 7-11.. i bought the prepaid card.. the Xmas edition one.. but i had to scratch.. and bu she de.. Roy traded me.. his 20k cash.. for my that card.. in future still must return him 20k cash de.. nice hor?
then that friday, whole day sleep//maple..
Saturday night.. 11+.. rushed to Roy's place.. was late le.. we(Roy, Jer, me) were hoping got last bus.. last 53.. we were going to Changi Airport.. overnight there.. to welcome Alex.. OMG I MISSED ALEX ALOT LOR.. wanted to give him a hug.. missed him so badly.. well.. it was fun.. 12-1:30 like that.. we were at Burger king.. talking.. abt maple.. abt this and that.. lol.. i could have been at home playing maple.. but i enjoyed that place la.. was sleepy le.. but the airport looks good and clean.. also went to see plane..1:50-2:47.. we wanted to go to the park de.. i suggested.. going to Changi Park mah.. but we all dunno how to walk.. we sort of got lost.. but we found cheap vending machines ^^ then it was like adventure.. we went to corridors in the airport.. where got no one.. all offices there.. scary lor.. then there were doors to restricted areas.. deserted stairways =/ i abit scared la =x.. scared suddenly got something behind me.. haha watched too much TV.. but we found our way out afterall.. went back to the airport there.. I think we went toilet.. Roy and I.. used the soup.. wash face xD.. cute hor =x..
then we went to Coffee Bean.. i wanted to buy a drink.. but didnt.. save $$.. they were mentioning abt Xmas coming.. i need to buy a gift for HER.. its VERY IMPT TO ME.. so i din buy -.-" then we went macs.. at around 4:30.. used the comp.. Jer was sleeping.. Roy and I surfed net for news.. i wanted to know more abt the underage sex thingy la.. din find out the result anyway.. but read other interesting news.. then Roy and I.. surf maple forum website.. i din dare log in.. incase got keylogger la.. Roy wanted to buy a 77 matk cromi, (2 10% at least).. 3 slots left.. was 10m.. right now.. the price is 15m.. >.< i also saw a good sparta.. now found a 92 atk for 10m.. and 94 atk.. Hopefully can use 13m to buy.. i really want buy leh..
haha.. 6 30 came.. i told Roy.. FASTER!! LETS GO.. but end up we wait until 7 20 there zz.. waste of time.. stupid Alex with his gold hair -.-
we went for breakfast.. at kopitiam.. like that lor.. Alex's parents went back on their own..
=).. i think hor.. im going to be single soon.. i dunno.. >.< i miss someone alot nia.. and i cant expect another someone to remain understanding for so long.. because its impossible to..
i think.. being single also good bah.. but how to kai kou? =(
now.. edited. its already 12.30pm le.. 1 and a half more hrs i getting results.. if fail... i think i will suicide leh.. cannot fail again le.. OH BTW.. Shao Liang on talking terms with me again!! one of the best friends i lost on September 2003.. i got back all the best friends le =x.. all 3.. a bit.. happy la.. not used to it though.. i figure.. if someone didnt leave me.. i wouldnt have spent so much time with Leroy and Alex.. that someone changed me alot.. she is etched in my heart le.. wont forget her.. hopefully even if i die.. and reincarnate.. i would still remember her bah =)
~No Regrets~
11:38 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
was in a very good mood for blogging.. but just now i got very pissed by my mother.. quarrelled with her.. end up i win.. i demanded for her to apologise.. but she dun want..what a 'role model'
today i want to continue my dedication to Miss Yeo Si Hwee, as i still miss her very much.. many things which i initially wanted to blog about.. i cant remember now.. this blog today was supposed to take up the normal for 5 blogs.. -.-
firstly, let me thank Rena, for being so understanding, that i still miss Si Hwee, thanks for not minding..
i know that Si Hwee and i, together, we will not have any happiness, because both have said many nasty things about each other, thus, it would be very weird if we both got together.. should we get together, both of us will feel ashamed, and may also nurse the grudge.. but as for me.. i know for sure, i wont blame her for what she has said of me.. but the thing that make me still want to be with her, is due to the fact that i strongly believe, she and me will last..
i really miss you alot leh Si Hwee.. its unfair of u not to give me another chance.. how did u forget our promises? yaya ur taste not so bad.. we arent steads.. but why give up on me like this? i only needed abit more time to prove to you.. i have changed now.. let the changed product.. have another chance can? what im trying to mean is.. if i changed because of you, it would be better.. we will be happier.. why after i change.. i dun get the real person i want? i changed for ur sake.. so that u will be happy.. why shld i make others happy?
do you know how i feel these days, was similar to how u felt towards Simon? u talking to friends halfway.. u cried.. i also did the same thing.. i cried earlier today..i keep saying that its a new chapter of my life.. but i cannot get u out of my mind at all.. i still love you.. the fact remains that .. you have rejected me once more..
i keep thinking.. there were so many places we had agreed to visit.. Xrod.. remember him? one of fairylingx' friend on maple.. who owns a lanshop in Yishun.. didnt we agree to visit his lanshop after your Os? i also forgot about it.. but i cried the day i got reminded of it.. so many more things.. we said you would come to Thomson View.. to see the place i made my first phone call to you.. etc.. now that cannot be fulfilled le.. ni yi ran shi wo de zui ai, you are still my most loved..
your current bf.. can bear to leave u at home.. watching TV to kill time..? there are still many things.. ur current bf have not done for you.. he is not a worthy stead.. why did u choose him?
sorry i got agitated.. couldnt control myself.. i still love you as much.. over these months.. i have changed beyond my wildest dreams.. i know that i have understood more things about life.. from an ignorant little kid.. to what i am now.. i dare say that my level of maturity has exceeded yours..
i really despo for you bah.. if given another chance.. stead or friends.. only way.. i still will choose stead.. because i always believe we are both meant to be..
now i dun stand a chance le.. but i still miss you deeply.. cried earlier when i heard the song of Prince of Egypt.. i believed in miracles for how long le.. but where are the miracles? i never gave up so much hope until now..
sorry to other people..
i'd add here to mayi.. if she reads of course.. i dun like u.. cause u dun let me have SH in my heart.. its 100% not possible at all.. sry but i really cant accept one.. who stops me from missing SH..
tomorrow, or later in the day.. i will blog about my life and happenings of these days.. from 9th December till today =).. now is 7:53 AM.. going sleep.. hope later get to see Si Hwee at SIMLIM SQ..
2:13 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Friday, December 09, 2005
this post today.. should be dedicated to Miss Yeo Si Hwee..
early this morning.. i smsed Si Hwee.. asked her.. if she was still interested in being together with me.. explained as much as i could to her.. 18 smses total.. i really loved her so much.. my feelings for her never changed at all.. i still loved her as much..
Si Hwee.. i know we loved each other.. there are too many misunderstandings.. all of which.. i can explain to u and clear ur doubts.. 1 year commitment.. is 1 year commitment.. i am shameless.. but during this period of time.. if u ever want to get back to me.. i will still accept you.. i have trust in u.. and i trust that.. ur decision of not having me back.. is a right choice.. all i really wish now.. is for you to be happy.. you will always be on my mind.. its time to let u go though..
i will try to forget as much as i can about you.. i dunno how well i will be without you.. but no choice.. i have to let go.. u got a boyfriend too soon.. i only hope he will treat u.. as well as i do? hopefully better.. im contented that my wish got fulfilled before.. i am eventually the guy who loves you most.. loves you most.. loves you most.. loves you most..
will blog the rest tomorrow.. after i move house.. now must shut down comp.. to move the comp over T_T
5:26 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Thursday, December 08, 2005
7th december.. i was at my new house.. lolx.. i mop the whole place de floor leh! weet so smart.. i learnt how to mop floor!! then.. i also learnt how to assemble a cupboard.. im so clever le =)
8th december.. today was godly.. early morning wake up.. maple abit.. then.. something cropped up.. someone on maple cheated Rena.. had to help.. and then.. still had to find so many things in this house.. my clothes some dunno go where.. shoes unwashed.. the spects i use for going out.. was missing.. zz move house is liddat de..
went out.. meet Ying Xin.. omg shes so chio xD.. Iris also very chio.. waaa i shy.. both chiobu.. then i met JieYing there.. JieYing brought me to find YingXin.. since she knows how YX looks like.. hee.. before i met JieYing.. i saw Angeline and Benjamin Gwee.. waaa they go all the way to causeway point to paktor.. =x=x.. i go there just to meet people nia.. lolx..
after that.. 3 people came.. guys..Yan Liang, Andy, i dont remember one of the names.. Yan Liang.. is a very handsome boy..i sort of.. envy//admire him.. ever since SH called me ugly.. i keep envying those very handsome guys.. haha.. his pool skills pro leh.. i noob T_T din want to disgrace myself.. so i sat at one corner only.. Ying Xin was so adorable =D
yeah ^^v got BBQ! company BBQ.. hee.. 5++.. gonna be sian sian.. too early la.. xD i want go slightly later.. haha.. i miss Boys Brigade.. ever since i knew SH.. i never attended BB le..
took MRT back to J8.. and i went to TorQ there.. ate $8++.. total was 3 pork 6 chicken de.. 1 pork $1.. 1 chicken $0.90, so yea.. overall $8.40 haha.. then i saw Jing Wei there.. and walked lor.. to his house there.. on the way.. only talk abt love and maple.. i miss Si Hwee alot leh.. i really dunno what to do now.. Saturday is coming.. so fast moving out le.. now is already Friday.. maybe i shldnt bother about the letter.. i think im going to just sms Si Hwee..
cant really believe.. that in 20 hours.. my comp will be removed from this spot.. means i cant play comp here le... later going out with Georgina.. then go BBQ.. if only Si Hwee willing to come my house.. i will give up all my plans for the day..
11:50 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
today.. i went to buy prepaid cards.. =D.. went for a stroll.. well.. i miss my old life.. life before i dropped stream..
today i also made Rena cry.. >.<>.<.. Tmr shall be the day i tell Rena of this blog.. see if she want to read only.. haha..
I miss Si Hwee.. thanks to the promise i made for myself.. now is 4:22 AM.. going to start writing the letter le...
many things crossed my mind la.. just now also went Ikea.. to buy certain furniture..
reading my stuff.. preparing to write the letter.. dunno how the letter will be like..
i know i will be happier with Rena.. but Si Hwee is the one i think i really want to be with.. im also at a loss.. Rena if u are reading this.. im not cheating u.. i got no reason to lie.. Miss Yeo SiHwee is very special to me.. i dunno what to do..
Rena : u touched my heart very deeply today.. Si Hwee has never ever touched my heart that deep before.. i still feel very touched at this moment.. there are so many things for me to do.. so many things to type..
I will never forget the clear blue sky we once shared, with the clouds drifting high up above, my world will never be complete without you..
I will also not forget the scenary of the bright round moon we both enjoyed.. if in future, you'll look up at the moon.. will u and me have each other in our hearts and mind?
12:20 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Monday, December 05, 2005
father.. still dam kb.. i scared i ren bu zu.. will punch him..
yesterday was fun.. okok.. Sunday was fun.. my siblings.. came back to help with the shifting of house.. first time i felt us being united.. i also did my part =) but.. my younger sister chose that day to rebond hair.. zzzz
the place.. was good la.. very near walk to kopitiam.. and.. i think i will enjoy strolling by myself.. im very moody these days.. thanks Rena for being by my side.. but i still miss SH..
as for today.. zz okok Monday.. not bad also.. but i missed SH super alot.. and Rena had to choose today.. to misunderstand that i was talking to SH..? so she was jealous the whole day.. and she kept reminding me of SH.. not blaming her though..
haha just now maple so lucky.. at dsg.. about to go henesys gollems to train.. was on rope.. ready to teleport. then i saw a dsg spawn.. i killed the dsg.. dropped tobi.. at first i thought was black crystal ore.. that monitor in the room.. see le.. i eyes pain zz.. maple mesos.. not that difficult to earn erh.. haha.. hopefully la.. i want to change my sparta soon.. some moron selling 82 atk clean sparta for 2m..
yeah ^^v.. been playing alot of Shattered Galaxy now that i renewed it.. gonna play RuneScape soon again.. miss SH really badly.. promise.. to write.. my letter.. for her.. within this 24 hours.. time now : 5 am SHARP.. 5:00..
12:54 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Saturday, December 03, 2005
today.. was initially quite upset and angry with someone de.. but now.. i cannot angry with that person le.. actually so many things in life hor.. all due to misunderstandings.. ok not all.. some people are real bastards and villains =X
yea.. and maple wasnt bad la.. i have 9m now =D=D.. thanks to me finding Dark Identity, and such.. the things i found today.. really not bad.. really.. more than 5m worth of items today.. 4m from Dark ID.. but hey.. the rest are 1m le =X
father really very kpo.. keep saying i hardworking.. what is his business.. sch time.. he kb.. hols also kb.. zz
packed my things today.. only books and jigsaw puzzles.. my jigsaws all very dusty >.< differentiated 3 different sets of jigsaw puzzles.. 2 pokemon de.. i put in same bag.. dun think i will do le.. the Pooh Bear bear de =x i kept.. gonna make and frame before i move over..
tired wor now.. i miss.. hmm.. dunno whether i still miss her lala.. erm.. btw anyone got job in the food industry for a female friend of mine? ^^ pls msg me.. she is a very very gd friend of mine..
11:09 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Friday, December 02, 2005
today this morning.. i slept at 5am.. woke up at 8am zz.. very sleepy le.. now 3:30am.. should know how tired i am..
anyway this morning.. i helped carry some.. God of Wealth, Godness of Mercy, Fu Lu Shou figurines.. to my new house.. a flat in Bishan.. not bad.. designs quite nice.. not as small as i imagined.. the toilet.. still acceptable.. but.. the place hor.. quite far from the lift zz.. i counted.. almost 80 steps+.. my room is a good one.. facing the open field.. facing the city cab place xD.. gonna be really very very very windy.. looked down.. i see the place i used to walk home at midnight.. with the same person on the phone.. accompanying me home..
then the study room.. omg.. its quite eerie leh.. far from the bedrooms.. good thing.. but.. its really eerie.. scarly in the middle of the night.. when i playing.. i see a head float pass :S gonna be scary.. both comps gonna be near each other.. i can transfer items easily now..
it seems so fast.. im not going to stay in a condo anymore.. didnt think it was important in the past.. neither now of coz.. the memories of previous years.. i can let go.. but the events of this year.. really stick so close to my heart.. its hard to change.. i really wish i can reconcile with SH soon.. then i let her have a look at this place... the place i was at when she smsed me.. the computer i was using.. when i gave her the first phonecall.. haha speakin of first phonecall.. i remembered something else.. hee.. actually i wanted to write the letter today.. now.. but im really tired.. and i caught a cold.. 8pm +.. i choked on cold water..
in my heart.. there is another girl le.. or is she really in my heart? i dunno.. the things she say.. really very touching.. i dun deny.. i miss SH.. i cant help myself.. i just keep thinking of SH more now.. i still want to know as much as i can about her.. but its very unnatural now.. part of me really want to let go of everything.. and start my life anew with 'her'.. oh no.. im at a loss again.. what should i do >.<
11:32 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Thursday, December 01, 2005
today.. haha.. early morning my elder brother and maid.. started packing the house le.. then it got me wondering.. i was bathing la.. hmm.. i was thinking.. the thing i probably miss most in this condo.. is probably my toilet.. will the toilet at the flats be clean? will there be bright light shining through the windows? haha these things.. i kept thinking lor.. living in condo really has its own benefit.. but im moving house le T_T din have chance to fulfill one of the things SH and I had planned on in the past.. lolx..
then after that i went to Thomson Plaza POPULAR.. for 2 reasons.. to buy 3 maplestory prepaid cards and.. masking tape.. maplestory prepaid cards.. i used the cash to buy things for *someone*.. to that *someone*, im so so sorry ok? i did something very wrong today..
i lied to that *someone* twice leh.. i said "i be honest with you ok? actually.. i cant love u wholeheartedly.. i love you only 95% =X.. the rest of the 5% spread among my family and SH.. "
this sentence.. lolx.. 2 lies le.. number 1.. feelings cannot be estimated into percentage.. and will never be..
number 2.. its impossible for me to love someone else so deeply in such a short time.. at the very most.. should be same as SH.. how to exceed my feelings for SH in.. too short a time?
therefore.. to that *someone*.. im sry for this.. its something i said without thinking.. din want to apologise to u so.. straightforwardly.. i dunno if the *someone* reads my blog now.. but im quite certain that in the near future.. she will read.. XD.. it may seem like a trivial matter.. but if such a small matter i also can lie to u.. what about in the future? i will tell greater and more serious lies.. i dun want that to happen.. =X
but.. omg.. i didnt choose the wrong person.. her exact reply was : "this kind of thingy takes time".. made me feel guilty..
right now already is december 2nd 4:47 am le.. I am thinking of gongzhu..... the letter.. i still must write.. i still must fulfill my commitment.. i still must keep my promise.. right! back to hunting taurospear for Thorns =D
12:28 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
I knew Fate wouldn't appear like this.
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~Mervyn~
25/05/89
firerain2o01@hotmail.com
Friendster
I wish things will go my way..
I wish for a better tomorrow!
I wish for peace.