I'll - leads to words of mine. "I" means myself as an individual, I am important, thus I is capitalised.
Love - leads to posts. "Love" in actual fact is just a word, it does not exist in RL =x.
you - leads to links. *YOU* have appeared in my life =)
Forever - leads to tagboard. What really is 'forever'?
Promises - leads to my profile. "Promises" exist to be cherished and believed.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
song : Cai Hong Tian Tang kept repeating in my mind.. these 5 days passed so fast.. i love this 5 days.. i love her smile.. i love her voice.. i love her!!
woke up at 5.40 today.. went down early.. saw her.. wished her happy birthday, got a nonchalant response.. =x
didnt get to buy present for her.. but i think i did.. =)
pangya improving alot.. maple quitting soon.. bought 4 PPC today again. but for pangya LOL.
3am le.. going bathe.. then going slp.. went for Para Para earlier.. i suk at it now.. 3 weeks only..
before that, had dinner with my Ai Tong classmate.. Ashley Sng.. although it pales being with YX, but i think its a consolation.. ok thats all =) going bathe soon..
Listening now to : Cai Hong Tian Tang..
3:11 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Thursday, July 27, 2006
today's Celine's birthday, my classmate.. didnt give her anything -.-
i guess its alright, since we arent close.. =x
how's my number one fan, piigx? fretting over the removal of tagboard in my blog? =x
tomorrow's a really important day. sleeping soon for the sake of tomorrow...
it's -her- birthday..........
things for me, have been going up and down.. but im quitting maple.. either selling it.. or selling the eq inside.. i love Pangya.. but i must quit pangya soon T_T..
10:33 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Monday, July 24, 2006
thursday was cool. as i told some of my friends, it was the most different party i ever been to..
there was a whole mob of guests.. and the food was gone within 2 mins -.-" its that fast.. when i arrived, food just just being taken.. i went to mingle with some people.. and no more food.. then one of the birthday boy[it was a party of twins], brought a few of us out.. and we went hawker center order zi cha.. swee.. only the few of us.. can crap around.. got air.. sheok lor.. all share money treat birthday boy.
then got ppl join us shortly.. though they sat beside us.. never eat.. but abit.. like neglect them.. but bo chup la =x
the birthday boy [the one with us] went to buy some drinks.. i drank a whole bottle.. i didnt think i could hold my liquor that well.. ok la.. its relatively ok =x.. me first time drink whole bottle until so song..
went back, and saw theres a 40% alcohol "Absolut Vodka" .. siao -.- a friend of mine drank alot.. his whole face red.. and he was driving leh!! *bike nia* =p
Friday.. nothing much.. training at sotong.. lvl 122 le..
Saturday.. Zakum.. not nice.. sian.. i died at 1st body.. it was sheok.. not bad.. guild reopened le.. FaLLeN.. xD
Sunday.. pathetic.. waste my time one.. Zakum camping.. couldnt get in.. did some homework.. played some pangya..
Monday.. this morning rox.. asked her a qn.. got a reply which is not what i expected.. i was happy to hear that lor =x but i cant rmb whether i showed an expression.
then after school.. on my way home.. i saw her again.. actually i was waiting for her..
then.. at the end.. after reaching home.. i got really happy.. but i got really guilty..
[will be editting this.. on phone now nia..]
9:30 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Monday, July 17, 2006
this morning woke up at 5.. prepared to buy breakfast.. and it costed me $16 =.= just for a simple breakfast lol..
aiyo.. today hor =x=x erm.. =x i suddenly like PangYa alot.. just because of something Cindy said, make me like PangYa.. when im playing PangYa.. i feel like im with YX~
and today, im sure i did very well for my O lvls chinese Listening Compre.. i think i got full marks..
tired now, shall end here today, Mervyn..
11:25 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Sunday, July 16, 2006
msn.com today shows of a man complaining that his wife chose a cat over him.
imo, the mistake in this, is by the man.
i figure that when being steady, when the girl wans to adopt a cat, the guy will support her.. after marriage, guys really change, they take things for granted, and they blame the girl for changing.
wtf? no wonder people always say, guys sure change after marriage because they had a hard time during courtship.
i thought of another saying which i used to say "if others can read your mind easily, you are a weakling."
12:51 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Saturday, July 15, 2006
was really feeling down last night.. walked from pcbunk to cine and back to bunk.
i dunno why i was feeling down as well..
was it because i died twice on maple?
was it because i realised Os are so near and not that prepared yet?
was it because speech contest was cancelled?
was it because i missed -her-?
was it because i was hungry?
was it because i was tired?
was it because.. she didnt reply my sms..? =/
rushed to bunk ytd. lol. took cab from sch to home, bathed, from home to bunk. total $13 liddat fly~ and go there no comp.. so what if got 20% exp? i died twice -.-"
today gonna level up at home..
and wow sis really is rich -.-" younger sister.. we both got the same allowance.. and yet her pencil case alone $100+ le.. shld have bah.. and she even offered to buy clothes for me.. diao.. i better start saving $.. i believe in this 2 months i've bought at least 30 macdonalds sundaes. gotta cut down on ppc too.. will be making chocolates for -her- birthday XD
last but not least.. happy birthday Sandy on 14th July.
10:16 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Thursday, July 13, 2006
haha. finally there's only 1 person on my mind. it wasnt a happy thing that caused the change, but im really glad that now i only like her =)
she will never and won't hurt me.
i didnt choose the wrong person to fall for.
and hey. my younger sister bought me a new bag =x $40 + de.. not bad erh? younger sis leh =x
Sandy's birthday soon.. will wish her via sms in 2 mins =)
11:58 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
i dreamt of Wen on Sun in the am. dreamt of Wen in Monday's am.. in fact yesterday's O lvls oral.. before that i still kept thinking of Wen.. zz what is she taking me for. T_T
i know I love YuXuan alot.. loved her as much as I did.. but i still liked Wen more.
Saturday i really thought of many girls, thought of Xiao Ning.. if got time i sure jio her out again..
i cant decide.. i dunno what i wanna do.. my blog.. i wont be updating soon.. wont be online.. will be studying..
i will forget forget forget forget her.. i must get her out of my mind.. zzz
speech contest coming soon.. i will post that speech after my speech contest.. and i wont be online after that.. 31st July -.-"
to anonymous : stop being irritating or i sure ban ur IP.
5:36 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Sunday, July 09, 2006
yesterday i went to pcbunk to meet boss.. danced para too.. i improve loads.. got my confidence back.
i didnt get to confess to YuXuan~ i walked from my sch to catholic high.. she was there putting up an exhibition.. she's so capable =) i wanted to see her.. but was unable to.
at night i walked from Dhoby Ghaut to Far East.. i thought of YuMin.. thought of Georgina.. i admit.. i missed Wen too.. then I miss Si Hwee.. and Cyndy.. because I went to Roy's place to watch initial D.. of course I thought of Yu Xuan.. to the anonymous tagger : u can say all u like.. i can trace ur IP and check who u are.. but waste my time nia.
learnt something new to add into my speech for speech contest : A man has to find a world of its own. Being without a world of his own, life is meaningless.
was supposed to be MC for the Youth Concert.. Sat morning 8.30 am was the rehearsal. i didnt turn up thanks to my maid waking me up late.. my comp was affected by virus. i stayed up till 6am + tryin to get rid of it.. its not gone yet.. but soon bah.. a friend i knew today introducing me a prog.
i did have a slight chance of seeing Yu Xuan today.. >.< but i didnt.. i gave it up because i had news that Wen was going to PC BUNK at dhoby ghaut today. i immediately told myself that im gonna find my spects.. and i did.. i lost it for 37 days.
i made many new friends, and i realised i was actually so well-known for the megaphones Wen shouted against me lol. just now heard alot of stories about girls.. sigh.. most girls these days -.-"
i also watched the initial D the day before.. i really detest girls who pretend alot.. whatever their reasons, they still cheated.. i fast-forwarded all the girl scenes while watching.
cab fare back was $9.15 .. im broke again. hunting a 100m+ item in maple now.. hope i get it.
Guo Huo -- Zhang Xin Zhe
Ze me ren xin guai ni, fan le cuo,(how can i bear to blame u for the mistakes u commited)
shi wo gei ni zi you, guo le huo. (it was me who gave u too much freedom)
rang ni gen ji mo, cai hui xian ru gan qing xuan huo. (made u lonelier, causing u to fall in love's trap)
Ze me ren xin rang ni shou ze mo, (how can i bear to cause you hell?)
shi wo gei ni zi you, guo le huo. (it was me with my overdone giving-in)
ru guo ni xiang fei, shang tong wo bei. (if you wanna fly free, i'll bear all the pain.)
accidentally saw a pic of wen being hugged by her current. did i really get over her? i changed the page asap. anyway forget it. I love YuXuan.. and im sure after the stories i heard today.. i love YuXuan more.. i cherish her more.. i wont regret loving her this way, because she really is worth my love.. im not giving myself false hope..
4:53 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Mervyn happy le..
im no longer flirticious..
maple now im dam broke.. left 41k.. LOL..
gonna risk scrolling things with limited items and scrolls.
I love Yu Xuan.. i dare to type here her name le =)
i will confess to Yu Xuan tomorrow.. wish me lotsa luck.. i nvr think of -her-.. because i love Yu Xuan.. the feeling is so good.
10:12 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Mervyn why are you doing this to yourself? she probably forgot you liao.
lol.. now i think.. its really true.. yesterday i watched the show Anna and Shaolin one.. cooking for a loved one is bliss.. actually i lied.. i didnt learn to cook because of Wen.. i have been a cooking talent since birth.
get a grip~ Mervyn..
anyway now.. i think im over it.. Chris talked to me and said i was over-reacting..
haix.. now i wanna watch Zhen Xin Hua.. its easier to blame her.. thats why i blamed her in the first place.. but forget it.. i bet she forgot me liao.. Zhen Xin Hua.. if i can convince myself she's that bad.. whats the use? the female lead also went back to the male lead.. am i even the male lead?
i know I love uenx nh[look upside down] still.. i did all along.. even when i was with huuam[look upside down].. i mentioned it on 15th May if im not wrong.
Love comes, love goes, are we still friends or foes? i think.. we are nobody to each other.
11:22 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
today the day was relatively fine.. but im confused over something.. do i still love her? or do i like someone else? or do i like uenx nh? i really dunno.. sha sha de shui.. by Ang Jun Yang was great.. sha sha = one of the -her- i just mentioned.
=/ kinda obvious.. but she and i impossible.. that sha sha.. i just want someone to give my attention to.
watched condor heroes today.. Guo'er and Long'er married.. the vows they made =/ made me think of her. when i woke up this morning.. i was thinking about her all the way =(
scrolled my dark battle road in game.. itchy finger.. not bad.. good road.. my expenditure was 70m.. my road is worth 85m or even more.. maybe even 90m..
best thing is i scrolled my devils sunrise.. this time with a 97 att base.. +7 again =x 111 att 7 str.
sheok.. i can rebuild le.. im thinking now whether to buy dark emperor and scroll on my own.. or scroll a 11 att wg with the gloves i got. i think i'll do both. =x
11:52 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Monday, July 03, 2006
I have decided not to discriminate Wen. no point.. initially I wanted to expose her lies, for 2 reasons.. one is.. she thinks im dumb.. she does not believe in my psychological studies. im sure that she has been lying about many things.. i just needed evidence.. but i decided not to get those evidence.
the next reason was, i wanted her guy to leave her after i have succeeded in showing people that she's a liar. i wanted to go back to her.. thinking abt this now.. what is the point? i think as long as she really is happy.. i shldnt destroy her happiness..
i miss her.. terribly.. i dunno why today i miss her so much. i value brotherhood now, and i treasure WenSong. because he really is the last of what i got from that 44-day misery.
tmr gonna study.. got alot of maple things on my mind.. i have been wasting tons of mesos.. =/
9:37 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Actually today, i thought it over. The biggest fault in my life, is that i have a belief. I believe that, whatever i do now, i will be able to make up for it in the future. This is also a common belief among my peers.
Scenario 1 : I sleep in class, believing that I will study hard when its nearing examinations. I end up playing as well, claiming that I'm used to it.
Scenario 2 : I spend all my allowance today, thinking that in future I can save, when my mother asks where my money has gone to. I do have a hefty bit of allowance daily. Do not ask me how much, even if you know, hush hush =x
Scenario 3 : in love, I always believe I have something more important to attend to. for Eg. I believed, and OF COURSE ITS DARN TRUE, that my O lvls are more impt than Wen. i believe if she was willing to wait till end of my 'O's, my whole life will be dedicated to her.
I was still convincing myself, earlier in the day, that it is totally my fault for what happened between she and i.
Ok anyway, I have aspired to be someone successful, to show her she was wrong in dumping me. =x come to think of it, it will be really childish to place my success just because i wanna show her that. I believe i still will be someone successful, but not for her.. I worked so hard for her back then, because she already quitted school. my friends, her friends.. they all agree too : she has no future. let her hubby take care of her bah. her hubby can write poems wor =x
i cant? Lost Love was written by me. I suddenly got an urge to post another one, which i wrote for a dear friend, who had a quarrel with me. the english abit wrong, but i wrote it in sec 3. probably will edit it :
Since you say you want to leave,
I can do nothing but cry and grief..
Thinking back how hurt I was,
Losing you is my greatest loss..
You were like the sun which beamed..
You are now the storm, it seems..
If my sincere apology will do,
I will try and listen to you..
I know I have angered you too much,
Now you departed, how can you bear to leave me in the lurch?
When you advised me caringly,
I never took it seriously.
You used to nag at me for very long,
Now you don't bother even when I'm wrong.
Great friend, cheerful, you've always been,
I made the glow of hope turn dim.
It is my fault you left me..
I wish you happy, cheerful and carefree..
me figure its better than what.. pumpi-pipi-pikin-pumpkin.. and blahblah =x
ok. end of that.. hmm.. wanted to study today.. end up went TPY.. no SG code. ate sundae at macs. strawberry.. that girl gave me alot of strawberries. =/
went back to J8.. had dinner.. sundaes again.. walked to Roy's house, needed him to teach maths, god.. i learnt loads. anyway on my way there, I smsed someone special.. smsed till.. i think she fell asleep.. that was when i was doing maths at Roy's, and did not reply her for 50 mins. i almost did not finish my sundae because i was talking to her.. sundae leh!! Macs sundae.. my recent hot favourite.
i dunno.. maybe i like her? i really got a good impression of her. i dun dare fall in love ><
maybe i just wanna fall for someone fast.. and this girl is most likely the one. i mentioned her in my blog.. around Nov =x
erh back to the story abt Wen. i think if got next life.. she and i really destined to be together. because from what i calculated via feng shui thingy, she and i were a perfect match. i pray that this life she and i wont continue anything.. and since she and me so destined.. next life lor. im not those kind who totally dun wan any relationships with each other just cause of a period of quarrels. i already expected how far she and her current will go, and they did. LOL. too much psychological studies no good. but well. psychological studies = i definitely believe that all normal people are the same, they wont lie. if not i study psychology for fk? those people who thinks im a liar. pls understand that fact. im getting over Wen. i dun deny im still sad. but abit only.. control 10 days dun read her blog.. sure forget her le =) has been 3-4 days le~
oh btw.. last week Georgina told me this : I am someone who loves my stead very much, not the person with me. it means.. if i get another stead, even 2-3 days after a break-up.. give me time, longer time for more serious cases of course, and i definitely will love my stead. thats what she said la. she's trying to say im not that faithful. what is faith? can eat ar? i had such strong faith in her that i disappointed myself time and time again. in a relationship, a breakup is through the mistakes of BOTH parties. means both sides have faults.
JunHao also told me, this year, nothing is more important than my 'O's. JH even though i know u sure wont read my blog, even though i dun like the dao change in u. i appreciate and i know u still care for me, afterall we have been bosom friends. (half an hr to blog this whole thing xD.. i will forget Wenny~)
and oh... the song i wrote for Wenn.. i think.. i change the person im writing for better. Zazy was telling me, do not associate myself with people like Wen. she even suggested i change the lyrics.. tune hard to get mah.. and my tune is really nice. i think.. starting and ending part(originally meant to be my story with her as starting, and my regrets for the ending) i'll change bah.
as long as she is happy with who she is in this life.. i believe, she does not need a successful person. i wanted to be successful and win her back. but i think.. even if she's with a successful man, but there's no love.. she wont be happy either. i hope she will be with the one she loves.. =)
1:22 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
I knew Fate wouldn't appear like this.
* none *
-Profile-
~Mervyn~
25/05/89
firerain2o01@hotmail.com
Friendster
I wish things will go my way..
I wish for a better tomorrow!
I wish for peace.