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happy with things, so don't ruin my life :)

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Sunday, March 12, 2006

for the past 3 days(Wed, Thurs, Fri).. days after Yu Min and i had our big quarrel.. ever since the time i last blogged till now.. my days have been very unlucky.. I can't believe that only 4 days have passed. T_T im suffering.. it really seemed like an eternity.. back when i did not know Yu Min.. i thought i liked somebody.. but i wasnt suffering.. my life passed fast and happily still..

I don't really remember how suay I was on Wed.. but I think.. early in the morning, my chemistry test was pathetic.. and i was nostalgic during chinese period. Can't remember whether it was Wednesday or Thursday that I slept during English Test, and ended up doing 8 points out of 14 for summary(it really seemed like years ago). Wednesday I quarrelled with my best friend of 11 years, Alex -.- Almost quarrelled with everyone. I wanted to level my maple on that day.. a friend wanted to play my account.. for 2 hours, which was 12% xp.. so i happily allowed him to use my account, but at night when I logged in, left another 8%.. and NO YETI PEPE MAP! SO ITS LIKE 5% AN HR, AND I HAD TO SPEND 1 HR 30 Mins more T_T .. I rather had leveled on my own..

Thursday, I did not understand Maths.. then I was short of 20 cents to buy a drink I wanted to drink.. so i went to the rice store, bought the seaweed chicken or chicken sushi.. supposed to have a dollar change.. but after that i realised i did not have $1 at all.. only 50 cent + 20 cents.. (i had 70 cents all along, i bought $1.20 of food, and paid with the 20 cents i already had.. the drink was 90 cents) the 20 cents was my change.. only then i realised that i might have been scammed by the uncle all along.. because i dont count my change.. i put them straight into my pocket.. suay until in the end i had to borrow 10 cents.. omg.. me..? borrowing money? and 10 cents? =/ in the end i just bought a 70 cents drink and returned the 10 cents.. maybe all these aren't unlucky.. but they are negative things.. and very uncommon nowadays.. the worse thing is.. SOMEONE I DUN LIKE, AND NEVER LOVED, AND NEVER BEEN WITH HER, ditched me.. wtf man.. her name is Yu Ting, someone's whose voice sounded alot like Yu Min's on phone.. since Sunday she already called me.. it was her who wanted to be my friend.. I never met her. Thurs morning and Wed night.. I was told by SoonTian, that she, told him that I was irritating, and wanted me to stop calling her and smsing her.. (i'll get to the point as to how ST got to know her).. omg? wtf? i sms her sometimes at night.. like good night.. she was supposed to be my alarm clock one.. sometimes she sms me.. obviously i reply right? then she can keep miss calling my handphone.. UNTIL I CALL HER BACK. stupid leh..

Friday was the most saddening and most unhappy.. I really really miss Yu Min alot.. school wasn't that good.. was almost late for school. early in the morning dont know why principal wanted to talk to the school.. of course i slept, as usual.. went back to class at 8.30+ .. so left half an hr of Maths.. Samantha, Si Ying and Li Lei.. the 3 female friends who always talk to me nowadays in class.. all of them were not present =/ especially Samantha.. she was going to Hong Kong that day.. and i meant to pass her money to request her to buy a Hello-Kitty watch there on my behalf, meant for Yu Min's birthday gift. I really have to rack my brains now as to how i am going to get my hands on one..

Physics lesson after that, the class was told to stay back after school for chemistry practical.. and i became restless.. great.. my last hope of finding something to do to make me happy, was gone.. so i remained uncomfortable the whole period.. didn't absorb or read ANYTHING regarding Electromagnetic or something.. see.. i dun even know the title..

English time i super pissed with teacher.. she wasnt even treating me like a student.. i bo chup.. i wont go into details.. but i understand her good intentions and the hardwork she has put into teaching us.. and for that i dun plan to let her down..

after school, practical was cancelled.. so i went back home.. played abit.. play until i can die on maple for something stupid and lost my safety charm.. played until i decided that I wanted to go down to Bishan Stadium to watch the sports heats. there was someone I wanted to see.. but didnt get to see her.. I thought i did see that person.. but until now im not sure if that person did go there.. haha but the main reason was because i needed company.. with my classmates of course.. it was fun la.. but i went to buy coke.. but the bottle so sticky.. and i was holding it straight. the liquid still leaked out.. then my hands were filled with coke.. zz after that i walked to Roy's house with some sec 3 girls.. Cheryl, Kai Ling etc. talked alot with Kai Ling.. or relatively alot.. since the journey to his place from the stadium isn't that far. I also disturbed Cheryl and she confessed that she liked Leroy. lol =x i recorded down but Leroy doesnt believe that it was true.. he feels i threatened her or something..

went to find my classmates at J8.. they watching movie, sure i would like to join them.. but something more important was awaiting me.. and that is my dream girl.. Yu Min.. i took a cab down to Pei Hwa Sec.. but the cabby did not know where the place was.. he told me after we were half-way on the journey.. diao.. i told him Serangoon and that I was very sure.. erh paiseh la =x its not my school mah.. luckily he had the book.. and i knew how to read the book.. read it before once last year during July.. so within 20 seconds i got the map he needed.. it was in Seng Kang there =.=

it started raining, and upon reaching my destination, i got off the cab.. the rain was getting heavier.. thank goodness it was for a shortwhile.. I was very very scared, many thoughts were embracing me.. fears of she having left the school, fears of her rejection, fears of her jeers, shy, lost for words, embarrassed, and many more, filled my mind.. i saw the ice cream erh.. stall perhaps? I walked that way.. on my way to walk nearer to the school.. i was filled with emotions.. i almost couldnt control myself..
i saw images.. of my imagination.. of Yu Min, entering the school.. being bullied by that discipline master.. it was very hurting.. then.. i saw someone who looked like Yu Min.. entering a lorry.. why would YM be entering a lorry? i cleaned my spects and see again.. that girl was far-fetched from Min.. maybe cause i was too anxious to see her.. almost everyone looked like Min.. there was a rainbow there also.. opposite the school.. it was beautiful.. i was telling myself.. that when i see Yu Min.. i must tell her that the rainbow is there for us.. every storm, will have a peaceful and beautiful aftermath.

then.. I saw another girl.. this was much after the first incident.. the way she carries her bag.. looks like Min.. the way her hair is tied, resembles Min.. her shoes are same as Min's.. then.. she was putting a bottle over her eyes and face there.. and her head was bending downwards.. i kept calling Yu Min's hp.. but no one answered.. and that girl never took her hp out.. that girl really seemed to be avoiding me.. of course i followed.. that backview really looked like Min.. i couldnt smile at that time.. i was very very scared.. but I couldn't let the chance disappear before my very eyes.. i will regret.. like i am now.. i kept following until there was a stairway and a lift.. it was the way to the LRT Layar.. the girl's friends went up the lift first.. the bus stop there was deserted.. there was only a tall guy and that girl.. i pretended to go to the bus stop de.. then i walked back.. looking directly in the face of the girl.. she didnt seem to be like Yu Min.. if only i had went up and asked if she were Yu Min.. i mean.. people who see such a case.. they will ask me if im silly or not.. not being able to recognise my own girlfriend? it has been a month.. and girls change very fast within a month.. what really made me curious was.. once i was out of sight of the girl.. i received an sms from Yu Min.. she said that she was in her aunt's house and she never went to school.. true i called her and smsed her.. asking where she was.. but she didnt have to tell me she never went to school.. this really makes me very curious and i dont know if i get a chance to ask her.. i went back... but the girl was gone already..

wait.. did i mention that.. after i got off the cab.. while waiting for the traffic light to change its light, i got splashed by a water puddle, caused by another taxi? unlucky sia..

seeing that that was no one else coming out from the school as the school now seemed deserted without a sign of exuberance in it, i headed for the ice cream 'palour' and purchased a chocolate ice cream.. i know that almost everyday without fail, Min will buy ice cream.. thats why i bought ice cream too.. but silly me.. i accidentally dropped ice cream onto my shirt and pants.. whenever i smsed Min, she would tell me she's at the bus stop.. thinking now also.. her sister once told me.. she had to take a bus to Seng Kang.. then perhaps change another one to reach school.. i supposed.. she has to take a bus to Seng Kang interchange and then board the LRT to reach school.. really so mafan..

after that i called Roy and Alex.. asking both of them where we were going.. i went home.. then i was late.. we were supposed to meet at 8.50 + or something liddat.. long delay cause i was doing sth =x then i was late mah.. so i ran from my doorstep to my lift, from the lift i ran straight to the bus stop.. i sprained my ankle.. >.<

today(saturday) was an act of stupidity.. i wanted to buy strawberry earrings on maple.. a/w on forums was 3.3m .. so i told the guy i a/w it.. then upon meeting him.. he asked for 3.4m.. i was thinking its so unfair.. so we traded.. i put 3.3m and I ACCEPTED WITHOUT HIM PUTTING THE ITEM.. idiot right? he take.. zhao and log out.. after a while then he logged in again.. he greedy demanding for the 100k.. i cancel.. then i think.. i shld trade it.. at most pay 100k more.. then he said his friend say shld take 200k.. so he tried to extort 200k from me.. i told him.. fine.. he wins.. and after trading.. after getting the strawberry earrings.. i told him say.. i report u for scamming.. =x i really wanted to.. i alerted GM in the game.. and posted on forums.. after that he got really very scared.. and said that he will give me the 200k back.. he seemed polite after that =) so i edited the post on the forums.. alerting GM not always useful.. but the forum one will be there.. i removed it with a 'ty' =x

a few hours before that.. i had a stupid argument of clerics and priests.. then my jie.. Angeline.. my only jie.. she really pissed me off on maple when i was asking for Hs priest.. my whole party needed a priest.. then she was telling me.. since u say we weak.. dun find la.. i already said they were important.. and i said that 2-3 hrs before her childishness came in.. i deleted her..

this post very long rite? haha how long liao.. actually i did not have a new dear.. the dear i mentioned that day, of course isn't Yu Ting.. never met her before.. its just a hoax.. I wanted Yu Min to read my blog.. seems like she didnt.. no point.. I really love Yu Min alot.. in my whole life, my feelings for her are the most true, yet so illusionary.. she made me very very happy.. but she inflicted the most pain onto me in just a short period of aquaintancy. all my friends think i am very happy with my life.. no one really knows that i still love Yu Min alot.. perhaps no one bothers about me anymore also lol.. i really wish that the time that Wei Long wanted to hit me, will come back.. because Yu Min touched my heart so many times during that period..

i kept my pain to my heart.. i never voiced anything about Min.. my feelings for her never changed even though i know that she probably dun love me any longer.. everything was a misunderstanding.. and misunderstandings will hopefully be solved.. i hope it wont be too late when my misunderstandings with her are solved.. who knows.. maybe in my life.. Yu Min is the first girl i really loved.. now its 5.40 sharp.. more than 1 hr just to blog this lols.. I love Yu Min only leh now.. i cant speak for the future of course.. just a while ago i was viewin her school's info.. i know i really love her alot.. actually i realised my love for her.. when i was near her school.. that overwhelming feeling was not like anything i ever experienced..

4:33 AM...i'm thinkin' of you

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` Lost Love -- Mervyn.

:: For one's lost love, one will keep thinking on ::

:: About things in the mind which are far beyond. ::

:: How much I care, she never knows, ::

:: But the pain in my blood can't stop to flow. ::

:: How hurt I am, she never cares, ::

:: Now I can only rely on the prayers. ::

:: You might ask me how I feel, ::

:: What do you think, if I can no longer call her dear? ::

:: I don't have the courage to carry on.. ::

:: And forever more as at today from. ::

:: Now I managed to see all I should see.. ::

:: My vision that.. she and I can never be..... ::

` Message.

I knew Fate wouldn't appear like this.

` Music Playing.

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