I'll - leads to words of mine. "I" means myself as an individual, I am important, thus I is capitalised.
Love - leads to posts. "Love" in actual fact is just a word, it does not exist in RL =x.
you - leads to links. *YOU* have appeared in my life =)
Forever - leads to tagboard. What really is 'forever'?
Promises - leads to my profile. "Promises" exist to be cherished and believed.
Friday, August 11, 2006
its so special.. really so special..
come to think of it.. this should be the 6th-7th month since i've fallen for her..
through it.. there was Wenn.. but throughout that period.. i never forget her one bit.. i loved her as much.. sardine? tuna? i was lying.. lied for long enough le..
why so special? i've cheated someone i love, who doesnt love me at all.. opposite sia..
why did i first fall for her? she was the friend of a crush i had, 2 years ago.. i didnt really notice her.. she's so guai.. so innocent.. so naive.. just today, Yi Wei said she looked so toot.. maybe she isnt a great beauty.. but no doubt, she's everything i want..
boy.. she's definitely the girl whom i put the most feelings into.. i gradually fell for her, telling myself, she will never be able to hurt me.. tried getting closer to her in a virtual world.. and then fell alot deeper into this maze.. probably.. also the greatest habit that i have, over a girl..
i cannot don't look at her all the time.. cannot.. other girls i could.. its just a habit.. every morning i look at the clock.. i rush.. just in hope to see her at the bus stop.. if not.. i will try to reach school asap, and be in the hall.. taking glances at her.. pervertic? kinda bah..
and hey.. she's the girl in my whole life, who likes me least.. and.. she's the one im most fond of..
just deleted her on pangya, forced to.. i believe im more hurt than her.. we were great pangya friends.. is i hurt myself de.. not she hurt me.. no matter how she bad-mouthed 'mervyn' to me.. i wasnt miserable to the max.. i advised her.. to look mervyn up.. and give him a straight rejection.. stupid of me? nah.. at least i get to tell her what i want..
i gave her a note earlier, telling her I am LordLoveless.. i wrote
"I am the Duke of No Emotions. (LLL) TC"
she still didnt get it.. when she asked me the meaning of LordLoveless.. i deciphered that Lord means King ; Duke ; Ruler.. and Loveless simply means, no love..
in chinese, emotions = feelings = qing.. Loveless = Jue Qing..
and just now.. she asked why i so jue qing must delete her, i explained, LordLoveless means Jue Qing Lang Jun.. why Lang Jun? because im just a normal guy.. im not a real Lord..
maybe someday.. im sure someday actually.. i will give her the url of my blog.. i hope by then.. she wont feel that.. this whole post is a mock at her..
O lvls chinese, I got B3.. i consider it a great failure.. many classmates of mine can tell me its not bad.. im really dejected.. i dun dare tell my dad..
that time.. didnt really study.. was playing with Wenn.. sad.. but mainly is my oral.. merit.. i guess it pulled me from A2 to B3.. i might consider retaking..
my exams.. is the reason, why i wont be coming online.. i doubt i will be online tomorrow.. i dun think i wanna come online le.. whether or not my father or mother kb me.. its time for me to open my books.. why i wanted gd results? i want to be friends with yu xuan.. T_T
my friends told me.. its stupid to motivate ur results over a girl.. but motivation does not need a fixed thought.. back then i wanted to win SiHwee.. what a joke.. with B3 chinese?
like pangya, in studies, ur greatest enemy is urself.. i have gd attitude in pangya.. i tell people that.. if you lose, you only lost to yourself.. i guess it fits with my education..
- Studies, is a game to me.. -
6:01 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
I knew Fate wouldn't appear like this.
* none *
-Profile-
~Mervyn~
25/05/89
firerain2o01@hotmail.com
Friendster
I wish things will go my way..
I wish for a better tomorrow!
I wish for peace.